Since I was feeling so gloriously Paleo, I decided to look up the place and check out the menu. Perhaps I would have time tomorrow to stop by this Paleo cafe, grab a Paleo snack on my way across the border to pick up my Paleo bread, which I have been impatiently craving for 9 and a half days (The Julian Bakery). Oh... well isn't this interesting, hmmm sounds raw, maybe vegan, maybe a little Paleo? How about a bunch of BULLSHIT! Vegans, vegetarians, and rawsters welcome! Enter if you dare, BUT a warning to all my Paleo Pals!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!------- This place is a sham! The (P) 'PALEO" items on their menu are in fact NOT Paleo and I am going to expose this fraudulent monstrosity to all those naive Paleo beginners.
Dear the Steveston restaurant who claims to serve Paleo food,
Last time I checked...
Turkey bacon is NOT paleo!
Tortilla chips are NOT paleo!
Chickpeas are NOT paleo!
Bean sprouts are NOT paleo!
Hummus is NOT paleo!
Mozzarella is NOT paleo!
Cheddar is NOT paleo!
Creme Brulee is NOT paleo!
SO WHYYY, in the name of the biggest hairiest caveman who ever roamed the earth, the one who discovered fire, the one who invented the wheel, or the one who slayed t-rex with his bare hands and a rock, DO YOU HAVE ITEMS ON YOUR MENU THAT SAY THEY ARE PALEO, WHEN IN FACT THEY ARE DEFINITELY NOT!?!?!?!?
What is your asian-fusion dressing made of... hmmm could there possibly be soy sauce in it??? Soy is NOT paleo!
What is your pesto made of... hmmm do you see parmesean cheese on the ingredients list? Cheese is NOT paleo!
Where do you get your chicken sausage from?... Does is contain glucose, dextrose, or potato, rice, wheat, or corn product? -NOT paleo!
What kind of granola do you use for your breakfast parfait?... could it possibly contain oats, sugar, or other grains? -NOT paleo!
What kind of oil do you use to cook?... vegetable, canola, or another refined oil? -NOT paleo!
What do you make your sweet potato hash browns with?... Because I am guessing you toss those suckers with a bunch of sugar and butter to make them your popular 'sweet browns'. -NOT paleo either!
If there was ever an inebriated, crooked caveman with half a brain on this planet, it would be you! You should be ashamed! Please take Paleo's good name off your menu; stick to vegan, vegetarian, and raw. I bet it will be less expensive to replace the processed meats you offer now with veggie grounds rounds anyways.
*Proud to be Paleo*